Do you ever feel realy alone??

i mean you are at a point where you want to cry forever til you die and something is way wrong but its only a feeling that you have pushed aside, many in fact, and you dont talk to people about it, and your friends have no idea, and you dont wnat them to know, in fact you dont want anybody to know, but you feel like nobdy is there for you when they are, but when you know they are there for you you dont want to say a word, and then you say everything is fine but its not and then you are left alone becuase everyone sees you are fine yet you know you are not -and you keep thinking this over and over agian???!!